Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in rachelpatricia's LiveJournal:

Monday, October 25th, 2004
6:25 pm	yay bio test tomorrow. my favorite! ok well so far every says no about the black hair. i thinking maybe red. i am irish after all. hmmmm. wow. life is good. purging my life of individuals was good. im invincible right now. i dont have any regrets but some day, people are going to look back and wish that things had gone differently but it wont faze me. its like that song: "someday i'm gonna run across your mind, but dont worry, ill be fine." hoorah. im off to call zoe and study! its been lovely! oh cordet.... (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 24th, 2004
7:57 am	yuck blah. this sucks the big one. ive already been up for hours. its horrible when you have to do homework through the entire weekend just because i want to go to church and possibly go see a cousin thats in town that i only get to see like once a every six months to a year, if that. poo on school. Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
10:27 am	wow wow i just went back and read ally of my old journal entries. all of the lke nine. lol. but anyways, ive come to the conclusion that when ever i am feeling down, i must go back and read those entries because i am so much happier these days then i ever was last year. i have come a long way and its definitely been worth it. ive certainly become a better person. i was a very angry bitter person back then. but now i am so happy. at least in comparison. wow this was a great learning experience. im off to go be happy somewhere. Current Mood: rejuvenated (Comment on this)
9:56 am	hmmm saturday morning saturday mornings are great, you can get up without dreading going to school today or even tomorrow. they are almost as great as friday nights when you know you have the whole weekend ahead of you. this weekend is filled with far too much homework. i only hope it can all get done with me having a massive coronary from all of the caffeine intake. i know caffeine doesnt affect some people, but sometimes when i get an overload my heart starts beating so fast that its rather frightening. hmmm. i blame it all on ib. so heres what im thinking. i really need a change it physical appearance, and well since plastic surgery isnt really an option, i was think perhaps i will dye my hair. maybe black. let me know if anyone has suggestions. im just bored with myself. blah. biology is attempting to smother me. last night was fun. and there was much good food. hmmmm. i like to eat. lately, far too much. i think it is cause for concern. im serious about the whole tape worm thing. so, homecoming tonight, and guess who will not be in attendance. does that make me a bad kid? i dont know, i guess i just cant get into it, perhaps winter formal or maybe even prom. i dont know. but those of you who are going, i hope you have an absolutely fabulous time. im going shopping today and then going to eat more wonderful food hoorah. and zoe might be crashing at my house to escape the wild teenage girls that evoke horror in the eyes of the beholder and will be unfortunately residing at her home tonight. im still having a horrible craving for donuts. i almost went out at 11 last night to get donuts but was too tired to drive to the dunkin donuts drive thru. oh dear. i am one crazy kid. blah. i need to work on the bio. Current Mood: chipper (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 22nd, 2004
1:54 pm	well i've come to the conclusion that i'm just really not good at this whole keeping up with the live journal thing. every time i try to amend my ways, i again fall off the wagon. wow. senior year is going by so fast. it's almost kind of scary. tomorrow is homecoming. too bad i have decided not to attend. anyhow. we have a ridiculous amount of bio this weekend. whatever shall i do? i miss zoe. she and i are estranged. haha and we are strange. im such a doof on occasion. i hope to talk to her at some point this weekend. its wonderful having a friend, a best friend, that you can depend on no matter what. through all the other crappy, shallow and irritable relationships that come around. that one person is always there and has been for going on seven years. and we've been through so much, including not seeing each other for months on end but still remaining as in tune as ever, that i know we will be friends until the end. i pity those of you who only have frivolous high school relationships, but i am blessed. God is Good. i think i have a tape worm. i've been eating a ridiculously large amount these days. it's rather frightening. genetic disorders are devastating. i'm going to take a nap before i pick my sister up from school. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
7:00 pm	woah wow! it has been a ridiculously long time sense ive written in this thing but i all of a sudden had the urge to continue with it. so heres where things stand. IT'S SENIOR YEAR! goodness gracious i can hardly believe it. i never thought i would make it to this year. i still feel like a freshman. its so weird to think this time next year ill be in college. i have a disgusting biology test friday as well as a calculus quiz and a history test. talk about the stress. i think i decided to write in this livejournal as i seem to be doing absolutely everything i can do to avoid studying which is what i desperately need to do so im off to bury my head in the wonderful world of science. and ill write more later. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
4:12 pm	tuesday i dont know whats going on with me. im hurting the people i love most but i cant help it. i guess im just too demanding and i want too much. i act like a bitch all the time because its easier that way. its easier then trying to let people in because once ive done that, ive lost control and then i get hurt. so i keep everyone at a safe enough distance in hopes of sparing myself. at the beginning of this year i made a series of promises to myself: i was going to make straight A's no matter what it took. i was going to play varsity soccer. and i would get through this year on my own. i wasnt going to need anyone. i wouldnt need to be accepted. i wouldnt need help. and i wouldnt need people who cared. so i certainly wasnt going to care about anyone else. people in general were disposable. but as the year went on this all changed until finally i got to this moment: where i am sitting here trying to explain how i feel, surrounded by broken promises. i havent been let down by anyone. ive let down myself. i changed and i grew attached. and then i got hurt. but the hurt wasnt anyone's fault but my own. those who know me the best know that at times i can be an extremely emotional person but i hide this from everyone else until it finally builds up. and then i lose it. the one thing i have learned is not to blame others for my pain and to accept responsiblity for my actions. and that the one thing worse than letting yourself down is letting those you love down or making them feel as though they have wronged you in someway when all they have tried to do is make the most out of life and that doesnt always have to include me. im sorry if i have hurt any of you in the past, it is probably due to my own insecurities or i may just not like you. either way i probably am not going to change. i know that i will continue on. thats just the way that i am. i need control of my own life and in doing so i can not always expect people to make me a part of theirs. so to everyone out there, i am truly sorry and please dont live your life according to me. if you dont understand this entry, you werent meant to. Current Mood: depressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 4th, 2004
5:15 pm	thursday hmmm well its thursday and i guess this week has been pretty uneventful. i just got home from going to smoothie king with my sister, caitlin, carolyn, kathleen, and theresa which was muy divertido! my ib spanish oral is OVER! and im trying to decide whether or not to skip school tomorrow. this skipping school thing is definitely my new favorite part of school. first it was just the weekends and now it missing school while others are there. hell yeah. so anyways it supposed to be like 83 or something like that tomorrow so i am all for going to the beach. anyways, the number of friends i have right now seems to be rapidly decreasing. they are dropping like flies. i dont know what it is. o wait. yeah i do. its the fact that im a bitch. i almost forgot. well ive learned to live with it. im pretty sure it is a birth defect. the doctors are working on it, but as of right now there's no cure. dont worry ive accepted it and moved on. i just hope its not terminal. please dont send any flowers or cards. ill be ok. plus you wouldnt want the special treatment to go to my head. that would definitely suck. at least for you anyways. ok well im going to go work on whatever homework it is that i have. Every time that I look in the mirror All these lines in my face getting clearer The past is gone It went by like dusk to dawn Isn't that the way Everybody's got their dues in life to pay Well, I know, nobody knows Where it comes and where it goes I know it's everybody's sin You got lose to know how to win Half my life's in books' written pages Lived and learned from fools and from sages You know it's true, oh All these things come back to you Sing with me, sing for the years Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears Sing with me, just for today Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take it away Dream on, dream on, dream on Dream yourself a dream come true Dream on, dream on, dream on Dream until your dream comes true question: is dreaming worth it? Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 1st, 2004
5:15 pm	monday well i cant believe weve started yet another week of school. 8 days left until spring break. wow this past weekend was so fabulous. friday: lindsay william and i skipped out after first period and went to panera bread in san marco. then we went and hung out in five points until lindsay had to take william back to school at 1:15. then lindsay and i hung out in san marco until 3 when we headed back to school because lindsay had a softball game and i had to pick up my sister. friday night was the oh so fun ib pinning ceremony. and then my dad and i went out to dinner. i think friday was one of the best days ive had in a long time. for once it was just great to be a teenager. saturday was my daddys birthday and we went up to amelia island to celebrate with some friends. then sunday i worked on my latest piece and my homework. then comes monday. the most dreaded day of the week. however, just for this week, that title is going to be transferred to tuesday as tomorrow morning, in 16 hours, i will be doing my spanish ib oral. oh my god i am freaking out. how am i going to function? then i find out that we have a history chapter for tomorrow. i love how that definitely is not going to happen. screw camp. i hate homework. i hate school. Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
5:52 pm	hmmmm i love how i just got finished writing this hugely long entry and then it just disappears. ah pissy. anyways well i was simply talking about how im exhausted blah blah blah and that im considering skipping out after first period tomorrow and maybe i can convince lindsay to the same, assuming we actually follow through this time. also, i am so sick of hypocrites. those people who think they are so wonderful because the do not do certain things but end up inadvertently doing the same as they cut others down for it. at least i recognize that im a loser with many faults and simply go with it instead of trying to be something that i am not. im so sick of school. i had my last art piece due monday and i have yet to think up an idea, much less begin it. and come to find out, my ib spanish oral, THE ib spanish oral, is on tuesday. oh dear. isnt life fabulous. i need fun in my life. i need something to make this all worth it. it was weird. today some people at school were talking about how weird it is because we have like 52 days left of school or something like that and then we will officially be seniors. and all i could think of is how happy i will be to get out of this hell hole i fondly call stanton. of jeez. well its like that saying goes: lifes a bitch, and then you die. (hooray for lindsay). i dont want that to be true though... Current Mood: exhausted (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:21 pm	my my. well i just got home from school. im finally done with exams. i am so exhausted. im beyond exhausted. and i completed the week with only one mental breakdown. hooray. well i guess thats not comepletely accurate as there is still one more school day. tomorrow is the ib pinning ceremony and i get to meet my ib little sister. as soon as my mom gets home we are going to go shopping for her (my ib sis) oh nm shes home. ill update when i get back. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
7:51 pm	why must i go to stanton? hmmmm let's see. this is my first entry so i think i might as well jump right into it. today was hell. fortunately for me i was raped by my english exam, only to have to go sit through my lovely history final. hooray for ib. i was a young and innocent kid who did not realize the perils of selling my soul ellison. and now i am supposed to be writing the eleven english journals that are due tomorrow as well as studying for my precal and physics exam. hmmmm school is such a drag. i had a fabulous time last saturday. its too bad i cant have a life all of the time. i want to kill mrs. camp. first i would like to jam her head in the toilet and give her a swirlie. the only problem is it would take ten of me to lift her and she might get stuck... but that wouldnt be so bad. my life is a mess right now but hey, what else is new. anyways that was my reason for starting this thing as it seemed like a great way to vent. ok well im out for right now. cussing is fabulous. lindsay makes laugh. maybe ill write more later. Current Mood: pissed off (Comment on this)